OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
