So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
