Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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