i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
