Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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