and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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