Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I need a beard to bite.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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