the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
