Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
