i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
