So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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