I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
