So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
