it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
