I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
