There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
