Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize