Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
