Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
