so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
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