Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Too much gin, very little bucket
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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