Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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