whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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