How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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