There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
