I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize