Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
