Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
