Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
