Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
