I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
