We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
