What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
