She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
