So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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