Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
