Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
