addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize