***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i already hear my dad disowning me
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
