it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
