Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
