yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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