I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
