You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize