you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
