I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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