I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize