I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
