Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
