I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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