Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
