Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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