Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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