you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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