that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
