That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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