Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Porn is love you can see.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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