so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
