I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
