THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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