that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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