I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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