He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The air was thick with penises
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
