i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize