is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
