I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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