What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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