Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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